Dear Dustin,

Relationships have never been easy for me. I’ve only had a few, and they have never lasted long because I am very independent and a little intimidated by intimacy. What do I do? How can I continue to be an independent, fun, outgoing girl while keeping a great relationship going? Have I only been finding the guys that like “needy” girls?

Miss Independent

Dear Miss Independent,

There is nothing wrong with being an independent person. Keep to what makes you
comfortable. You shouldn’t feel as though you have to cater to other people’s expectations of you. Besides, it is great that you are intimidated by intimacy. Intimacy is a dish best served with a side of marriage: Catholic marriage.

Although you shouldn’t cater to others’ expectations of you, that doesn’t mean relationships are going to be easy. The biggest challenge is finding someone compatible with your lifestyle. You probably have been finding the guys that like needy girls; it makes them feel manly when they can have a girlfriend depend on them. This is not something you should feel the need to conform to. Those guys are wrong anyway. Manliness is shown not by your girlfriend’s dependence on you but by your facial and chest hair.

My best advice for you is to be patient. The right guy for you will come along eventually. Just pray it isn’t when you’re 40 years old. Even if the right guy doesn’t come along, there’s nothing wrong with being single forever. In all seriousness, be patient, but don’t be afraid to seize an opportunity.

My final idea is probably the best for your situation. You should chase the modern American dream: have your own reality love show. We’ll call it Ms. Independent Day. We’ll get 16 chiseled men with IQs below 70, and they’ll fight over dumb stuff and ultimately you get to pick whichever one you want to love. Then a year later when you’re sick of him, we can do it all over again for season two.

Filed under: Dear Tony by Tan Tuohy