- The Record Archives
- Volume CXVIII, No. XXI - November 17, 2005 - variety
Dear Alex
Use fresh tips to save time
Staff writer
Since Dear Tony has the week off, The Record asked SJU first-year Alex Kurt to take his place for the week. Don't worry, Dear Tony fans, he'll be back for the next issue.
Dear Alex,
I hear that guys prefer women with long hair. Is that true? I have short hair — am I destined to be alone forever?
- Clueless and Harried
Dear Clueless and Harried,
The thing I've discovered about hair is that it can change. So perhaps you are destined to be alone, but only until your hair grows longer.
It has been said that people don't mind when a woman has short hair, as long as the guy she's with has long hair. That way, the universe can retain its balance and no one will look at that couple twice.
Be sure to understand that short hair, in and of itself, is not bad; the problem probably arises when the stereotypes tell us that women with short hair are the ones who will listen to punk rock and teach us about gothic practices, rather than go on a date.
When it comes down to it, the length of your hair shouldn't matter much to the average guy. But if you think yours isn't attracting our attention, just conceal it under a hat. That way, you'll keep us guessing, and we'll probably just assume the best.
Dear Alex,
I'm having a lot of trouble with time management. Do you have any suggestions?
-Busy as Can Be
Dear Busy as Can Be,
Managing your time can certainly be a problem, especially for a busy college student. Furthermore, most non-busy students still spend most of their free time doing something other than homework.
Here are a few tips:
Try to avoid turning on a television — in fact, avoid owning
one — if you share in that manic obsession with shows like "The O.C." and "Laguna Beach."
These are merely shows about kids who are younger than us, doing the same things we have done. The only difference is that they do these things in California, and they have the occasional
party with a chic, cheesy theme.
Avoid classes on the opposite campus. The 25 minutes that you'll spend in line for the Link can be spent doing homework for the class you're traveling to. That way, you can get a better grade than if you had actually attended the class.
I believe this fact was left out during the numerous panel presentations you took in at first-year orientation. Plus, you'll never go through the embarrassment of having the bus door shut in your face.
Don't use the Internet. Internet use will inadvertently lead to a peek at the e-mail inbox, which will lead to the relentless grip of Facebook. And this doesn't even touch on the potential for a conversation on Instant Messenger.
And so, it seems as though the solution for you busy-bodies is to denounce the use of technology and revert to the classic lifestyle of academia that required only your books, an oil lamp and limitless ambition.
Computers, television and cell phones, the internal combustion engine, are detrimental to life as we know it. Hence my case for the abolition of Web CT, as well as those e-mails from professors with new assignments attached.